Teaching forgiveness

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little-miss-green-forgiveness

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Learning from children

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared the many lessons their children have taught them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

This month we’ve been asked what our children have taught us over our parenting years.

I remember when Little Miss Green was a growing bump in my tummy how we would ‘talk’ in the evenings. I made a promise to learn from her as well as guide her through life as best I could.

Over the years, the most amazing gift my daughter has taught me is not that the aluminium plate Mr green uses in his LED light bulbs is a heat sink (I thought it was to reflect the light – go figure!), or how to play Angry Birds, but something that reaches me much more deeply.

I have a bit of a confession.

I’ve always found forgiving a challenge. I guess I’ve never understood it. I’ve felt it means you are saying that whatever happened was ok, when sometimes it just isn’t…

And I’ve been a terrible mother at times; one who needs some serious forgiving.

I’ve yelled – *really* loud
I’ve been dismissive
There have been times when I’d rather be doing something else than paying full attention to my daughter’s questions
I’ve sighed in “that way” which must feel really condescending
I’ve reacted rather than responded
And I’m sure there have been times when my daughter has felt like a complete inconvenience due to my behaviour.

But throughout it all, my daughter has taught me something very powerful; something that reaches my heart, touches my soul and leaves me wondering if we’ve reversed the parent / child role.

What she has taught me is unconditional love and forgiveness.

She has responded to my anger with love and forgiveness.
She has responded to my tiredness with love and forgiveness.
She has responded to my ‘can’t be arsedness’ with love and forgiveness.
She has responded to my moods with love and forgiveness.

She has appeared by my side like an angel when I’ve felt unsure of my path through the parenting maze. She tells me I’m the best mum in the world and every single night, before we go to sleep she demands a hug along with some ‘I love you’s’.

She tells me that love and hugs are the best things in the world.

And I have to agree.

She understands the true meaning of forgiveness and this is the greatest gift she has not only taught me, but offered to me.

She has helped me understand that forgiveness is recognising the perpetrator is a flawed human being; one who is fully deserving of compassion, love and kindness despite the harm they have done…

Through her forgiveness, I’m finally learning to forgive and let go myself.

***

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 11 with all the carnival links.)

31 Comments

  1. [email protected] Natural Motherhood Journey on January 11, 2011 at 5:04 am

    WOW! We sound so alike! =) This is a beautiful post that touched my heart! I’m so glad you joined in on the Carnival!



  2. […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  3. […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  4. […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  5. Lauren @ Hobo Mama on January 11, 2011 at 9:40 am

    What a touching post! It really is amazing how they continue to respond in that accepting, forgiving way. I’m glad to know, since your child’s a little older than mine, that it’s still true for you.



  6. Lucy @ dreamingaloudnet on January 11, 2011 at 10:29 am

    Wonderful. Really wonderful. Hope my children feel the same!! Great message, great writing, great website. Wonderful. 🙂



  7. […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  8. What the Apple Teaches the Tree | Future Legacy on January 11, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  9. Dulce on January 11, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    What a beautiful post! That resonated deeply in me. You are a wonderful mama. Thank you for sharing your heart.



  10. […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  11. […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  12. […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  13. Summer on January 11, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    There is nothing more beautiful than how much a child can love, no matter what. 🙂



  14. Heather on January 11, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    An awesome lesson indeed!



  15. Melodie on January 11, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    I love that my daughters are also forgiving children. It has served me well on the days that I feel like a crappy mom too. Thanks for sharing this.



  16. […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  17. Dionna @ Code Name: Mama on January 11, 2011 at 7:16 pm

    This is so sweet, and I feel the same way! I mentioned on someone else’s post that only now can I understand how my mom could look past so many of the things my sisters and I did growing up – it was unconditional love!



  18. Beginner’s Mind on January 11, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  19. Kristin @ Intrepid Murmurings on January 11, 2011 at 11:11 pm

    Yes yes yes! I feel so similarly — man have I not acted the best sometimes, by a longshot, and my girls forgive and “let it go” so much easier than I do. Truly an important lesson.

    Thank you!



  20. Mama Mo on January 11, 2011 at 11:17 pm

    Forgiveness is hard to master… but then so is being a mother. Luckily we have children to show us the way 🙂



  21. Kimberly on January 12, 2011 at 12:19 am

    A child’s hugs will forgive anything 🙂



  22. Erin @ Multiple Musings on January 12, 2011 at 3:11 am

    Forgiving can be challenging, and unconditional love even more so. Even when you feel unconditional love towards your children, your actions may send a different message. But they forgive us and love us unconditionaly, as you so eloquently put it. This is a beautiful reminder of that.



  23. Momma Jorje on January 12, 2011 at 4:29 am

    I just do not think a parent can survive (with their sanity intact) without learning this very important lesson; While we strive to be our best, we must also forgive ourselves when we falter.

    Thanks for participating in the Carnival!



  24. Deb Chitwood @ Living Montessori Now on January 12, 2011 at 4:41 am

    Beautiful post! It’s so true that our children are the perfect teachers of unconditional love and forgiveness. I was more unforgiving of myself before I had children, too. But I learned that my children didn’t need Supermom … what they really needed was for me to be there for them, loving them and doing as best I could.



  25. […] Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who’s taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does’t deserve it. (@littlegreenblog) […]



  26. Melissa @ The New Mommy Files on January 12, 2011 at 8:33 am

    Beautiful, and so true.
    The unconditional love that parents have for their children is spoken about often, but often it’s us as parents who need forgiveness and love, despite less-than-perfect behavior. Perhaps it’s so easy to love our children as we do because *they* shower *us* with love when we’ve been the least deserving.



  27. Rachael on January 12, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    Sometimes I feel so undeserving of the abundant love that my little Critter gives to me. It never really struck me as a lesson to learn from him, especially in my other relationships … say, with my husband….



  28. Mrs Green on January 12, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    @[email protected] Natural Motherhood Journey: thanks Chante, glad you enjoyed and it resonated with you.

    @Lauren @ Hobo Mama: Oh, absolutely true; her ability to forgive seems to grow if anything…

    @Lucy @ dreamingaloudnet: thank you Lucy; I can bet your children feel exactly the same 😉

    @Dulce: Thank you Dulce, there have been some wonderful posts this carnival, haven’t there?

    @Summer: So true, Summer – thank you!

    @Heather: Yes and aren’t I the lucky one! So blessed and so loved – what could be better…

    @Melodie: You’re welcome Melodie and thank you for your sensational post. It really gave me food for thought and I admire you so much.

    @Dionna @ Code Name: Mama: Funny how we don’t recognise that until we are mama’s ourselves…

    @Kristin @ Intrepid Murmurings: Thanks Kristin, I did notice this theme creeping into the carnival; I think a lot of us feel it.

    @Mama Mo: Gosh, isn’t that right. I don’t think I would have learned this lesson otherwise.

    @Kimberly: Oh Kimberley, you are so right; it just melts away all tension and frustration right there on the spot.

    @Erin @ Multiple Musings: Great point Erin, that sometimes our actions do not match what we know to be true in our heart. very thought provoking.

    @Momma Jorje: Forgiveness of self is a tough one, thank goodness we have opportunities to learn it.

    @Deb Chitwood @ Living Montessori Now: Yes! The supermum bit – so true; It took me a couple of years to really get that and boy was that tough!

    @Melissa @ The New Mommy Files: Could be, Melissa – it seems an amazing role reversal in so many ways …



  29. Mrs Green on January 12, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    @Rachael: Rachael, we are never undeserving, no matter how bad we feel – we only have to look into the eyes of our children to know that 😉



  30. I'm a full-time mummy on January 13, 2011 at 7:45 am

    Beautiful post! Children are forgiving and we really should learn this from them! Thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting! 🙂



  31. Mrs Green on January 15, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    @I’m a full-time mummy: You’re welcome; all of the blog posts were so inspiring; it was a great theme. Thanks for dropping by to my part of the world 🙂



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