Could this question change your life for ever?

mrs green from little green blog

Welcome to the January 2013 Carnival of Natural Parenting:
Recovering from the Holidays

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about how their families get back to normal after the holidays are over.

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I love the potential of the New Year and rather than feeling burned out from the festive season I feel a renewed sense of inner peace.

I’m not one for traditional resolutions but I like to use this time of year to take stock of my life. ALL areas of my life!

It’s easy to focus on the things that are working particularly well or the ones that bring us pain but I feel at my most joyful when I have balance.

This means a balance between work and play and an inner sense of balance for mind, body and spirit.

I’m an empath and highly sensitive so the world can be a noisy, frenetic place to me. Sometimes I put my hands over my ears and have to close my eyes just to find the peace in our crazy, fast-paced society.

At times when I’m feeling really sensitive I can feel the electricity buzzing through the walls at home, the ticking of the clock becomes unbearable and electric lighting violates my senses.

Finding balance then, is an act of knowing yourself. It’s the honouring of self and taking a moment to check in and notice. It’s about becoming an observer of ourselves and demanding the very best for self. It’s about noticing, with compassion when you’re about to burn out and parenting yourself wisely.

This is easier said than done when we’re wearing the mother-lover-daughter-friend-colleague masks. How do we find the Self in amongst all the labels and expectations of others? This one has taken me over 20 years to figure out, but I’m finally getting there.

Loving ourselves takes commitment and discipline, unless we chose perfect parents who taught us it was ok to put ourselves first. Chances are we were given messages from our childhood such as “it’s not ok to feel and express anger”, “It’s not ok to get your needs met”, “Nice people think of others before themselves”…

And it can take a whole lifetime of learning through pain before we break through to being able to learn through joy.

I invite you to check in with yourself right now… It will only take a moment.

  1. Close your eyes, focus on your body – are you breathing rapidly, high up in your chest? Are your neck and shoulders tight? Are you thirsty? Do you need to pee? Just observe yourself without judgement.
  2. Now take three, deep, nourishing breaths, right down into your abdomen. This act alone can be one of the most loving experiences you have today. By breathing in this way you change the chemistry of your body-mind and wonderful, healing starts to happen!
  3. Finally; ask yourself this poignant question:

“What is the most gentle and loving thing I can do for myself right now?”

Tell me your answer in the comments below, then honour yourself by acknowledging and acting on that need…

16 Comments

  1. Post Christmas Juice Feast | Love Parenting on January 14, 2013 at 10:09 am

    […] Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance… […]



  2. […] Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance… […]



  3. Fresh Awakening | Diary of a First Child on January 14, 2013 at 10:45 am

    […] Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance… […]



  4. Getting back to Healthy « A Warrior Mom on January 14, 2013 at 11:03 am

    […] Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance… […]



  5. […] Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance… […]



  6. The recovery in the change | on January 14, 2013 at 11:41 am

    […] Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance… […]



  7. Dionna @ Code Name: Mama on January 14, 2013 at 2:38 pm

    I do need to check in with myself more often. I’ve been feeling so down the last month or so, and part of it is because I’ve been so worried about pleasing others, that I rarely think about myself. I’ve just sat and meditated for several minutes, and all I keep thinking about is how to get better organized – how to get some things done that are weighing on me. That might not seem like self-care, but it really is – I get stressed when I do not feel a sense of organization in my life. With a burgeoning inbox and too many projects to count, I *need* to get organized!



  8. Destany on January 14, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    This is really insightful and inspiring. It can be difficult to take stock of ones self, especially when our emotions are heightened. I feel like many people walk around in a mild state of panic and they’re not even aware of it.
    I am also hyper-sensitive and I know just what you mean about feeling overwhelmed by lighting, noise and other stimuli. It took me years to work out that I could regain control by moving to a calmer atmosphere.
    Thank you for the reminder!



  9. Meegs on January 14, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    I love the sense of renewal that comes with the new year. I’ve learned in the past year how to take care of myself, so I can be better able to care for my family. Yoga, Quaker Meetings, and just days to myself full of cooking and reading… then all make me a happier, better Mama and Wife the rest of the time.



  10. […] Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance… […]



  11. Laura on January 14, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    Love this! I’m working on being more in tune with what’s going on in my mind/emotions/heart so I can be better with all those hats I wear.

    Honestly, the most gentle and loving thing I can do right now is to stop multitasking and clean up that kichen 🙂



  12. […] Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance… […]



  13. Post Christmas Juice Feast | Love Parenting on January 15, 2013 at 5:25 pm

    […] Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance… […]



  14. Lauren @ Hobo Mama on January 16, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    It’s to let go of my obligation for now to comment on carnival posts and go get some sleep — ha ha ha! Thanks for making me really think and figure that out (seriously). I totally agree with you on the messages we’ve been taught. I will keep this question in mind in the next few days and see how it transforms how I feel and what I choose.



  15. I’m Mama Not Supermom | on January 16, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    […] Could this question change your life for ever? — To get your new year off on the right footing, Mrs Green of Little Green Blog is challenging us all to love ourselves with commitment and discipline. She asks you to focus on a simple question which might just bring you back in balance… […]



  16. Christy on January 16, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    Great idea! After my dentist appointment, picking up one kid at preschool, making lunch, then picking up the others, I’m definitely going to do this. Really needed. Feeling a bit lost in my obligations this day, week, month.

    Thanks!