What makes family life good?

This week’s theme for the British Mummy Bloggers carnival is ‘The Good life’. Maggy from “The Good Life Blog” wants to know what makes our family life good!

Her blog, run by three friends focuses on making their lives a little greener. Liz is the new blogger on the block who reminds us that motherhood, as well as being challenging, is a lot of fun! Ali is renovating up her house as ethically as she can and and works for an ethical kidswear company. Maggy is an artist and is spreading her creative wings into keeping chickens, growing tomatoes and cloth nappies.

Now what makes my family life good? That is such a great question because I’m sure we could all fill a BOOK with what makes our family life good. It’s really difficult to choose just one thing. But I’m going to look at how we spend quality time together.

Our daughter is nine, and parents of older children will know that divides and chasms start to happen. For some reason, what was once a peaceful, loving home becomes an ‘us and them’ battleground. At this age our children are going through an important change in their consciousness. They are transitioning into a new phase in their lives where they are getting ready to confront the outer world as a truly separate individual and we are often the perceived enemy who loves nothing more than to make our children’s lives a misery.

Although it is wonderful to see our children’s courage and independence grow, it can be a fraught time. I’ve certainly noticed ‘the attitude’ starting. I occasionally get a grunt in response to a question, often a sigh and frequently a raised voice (with matching raised eyebrows as if to say “Don’t you know ANYTHING mother?”)

So while these transitions take place I think it is vitally important to provide our children with a safe space to explore their feelings and to express themselves. They need to know that they are loved unconditionally. What I sense more than anything is that LMG needs to know she is accepted for who she is – no matter what behaviour she is sharing with us.

There are times when she doesn’t want to grow up, when she wants to be babied and cosseted and these times are wonderful – they might last a second (“Pick me up Mummy”) or a minute (“I really NEED a cuddle”) or an hour (“Can we play xxx together?”). But my favourite times are when we go and choose a dvd to rent and all snuggle up in bed to watch it. Beforehand, LMG builds a ‘nest’ on our bedroom floor, stacked high with feather pillows and sheep wool comforters and when we’ve all laughed through a film together, she slides into her nest and stays there for the night.

I don’t often get much sleep on those days, but as I’m sandwiched between the two people I love most and can hear them breathing next to me, it reminds me that despite challenges, difficult situations and the grunts of a Tween, life really is good and I am blessed …