5 Ways to Stop Being Self-Conscious

If you’ve been struggling with feeling self-conscious, you’ll know how difficult it can be.

At it’s worst, it can be paralysing and prevent you attaining some of the things you should be capable of achieving in life.

This can manifest in you not taking on new challenges, being unprepared to step outside your comfort zone or apologising all the time, for things you don’t need to be sorry about.

But being self conscious doesn’t need to be crippling. There are so many things you can do to prevent those feelings from taking over.

Drop the Comparisons

Comparing yourself to others can make you feel inadequate and Social media can be really unhelpful in this regard too. It’s been shown that many people only share the positive snapshots on their social media streams, which can lead to their followers feeling they have to keep up.

Likewise when looking at magazines or watching ‘reality TV’ shows; remember that people are air brushed and only represent a small fraction of their day to day life.

When you’re with friends and family, they’re focusing on being in your company, not keeping scores about how looks or sounds the best or is the most intelligent.

Keep things in perspective and be aware that everyone has their strengths, weaknesses, hopes and fears.

Accept That Not Everyone Sees What You’re Seeing

Staying on the friends and family theme, remember that not everyone is going to see you the same way that you see yourself.

The person you see when you look in the mirror is most likely completely different to the one everyone else sees. No one else is focusing on that one hair that is out of place, the wrinkle or the state of the skin. The truth is, they’re probably too busy thinking of their own ‘flaws’.

Generally we are much more forgiving and less critical of others. For the good of your own mental health, try and offer some of that compassion and leniency to yourself.

 

 

Focus on Your Strengths

Focusing more on your own personal strengths and the things that you like about yourself can only be a good thing.

As mentioned previously, we all have strengths and weaknesses – it’s what makes us a ‘normal’, rounded human.

It’s good to want to improve ourselves, but it needs to be kept in balance. You might be able to learn a new skill or study a class. Or you might be able to get more healthy or eat better, but there are some fundamental things you may not be able to change. And it’s healthy to find a sense of peace within that.

It’s also balanced to focus on your strengths and develop those too. What are your best qualities? Are you a good listener, a natural at art or great at telling jokes? Maybe your smile lights up a room, you think outside the box or are very practical. Ask people who know you well to list three of your strengths and allow yourself to really take that in.

Work on the Things That Bother You Most

If there are specific things that are really bothering you and they are things that can be changed, there’s nothing wrong with addressing those issues.

Maybe your issues with self confidence are to do with your looks. With the right teeth aligners, for example, you can fix any issues you might have with the straightness of your teeth. If fixing those problems will help you feel less self-conscious, go for it. You might go to a stylist to learn how to make the most of your figure or hire a personal trainer to tone certain areas of your body.

If your issues are more academic or career focused then sign up for a class to learn a skill you feel you are lacking, take a course in how to be more assertive or look for ways to volunteer so you can get valuable experience for your CV.

Discuss it with a Therapist

If your self conscious feelings are having a major impact on your health and life, then you might need outside help.

Talking about these kinds of problems and working with a skilled therapist can often help you resolve them faster. If you think your feelings of self-consciousness are part of a wider mental health problem, it makes sense to find a therapist who is trainer in the mental health field.

Therapies such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) for example, can be really helpful in transforming self conscious into self confidence.