What is Your Most Important Role Today?

nicole_200x300_handI don’t know about you, but I’m the Queen of To Do lists.

I have this idea that getting things out of my head and onto paper will somehow free up some space.

And it does, but then I get overwhelmed with the amount of stuff on my lists!Today Nicole Bandes is here to share her insights on maintaining our ever-increasing workload while staying positive…

Each and every day we are faced with a To-Do list that seems longer than the roll of paper (which probably needs to be changed, by the way).  We have more roles to play that the entire cast of a broadway musical.  So how do we balance all this and maintain a positive attitude?

Balance?  Balance is for the scales of justice, not for humans.  There will never be balance within our lives.  That’s the bad news.  It’s also the good news.  That means we can stop beating ourselves up for not giving perfectly equal amounts of time to our significant others, children, jobs, businesses and ourselves.

Harmony, not balance

Instead, for the most positive attitude and ultimate success and happiness, we should optimally strive for harmony.  If you have ever had the privilege of seeing an orchestra play, you may have noticed that all of the instruments do not play at the same time, nor do they each get equal playing time throughout the symphony.  The composer, instead, strives to make beautiful music allowing each of the instruments just the right amount of playing time and at the right time.

It is also important to note that, while one instrument may be featured at any one time, the other instruments may still be playing a supporting sound in the background.

Key roles

Now consider each of the individual roles in your life like one of the instruments in the orchestra.  If you treat your life like a symphony, you won’t worry about having each one get equal time but rather focus on what makes the most beautiful sound at any point in time.

Today your key role may be as a parent because your child is home sick.  Do not stress or worry about what is going on in the other roles of your life but rather focus on that role.  This focus will not likely exclude every other role, just like the symphony does not exclude all other instruments while the key instrument is playing.  However, the role takes on a key position in the overall harmony of your life at that very moment.

Tomorrow your key role may be business owner as you prepare that quote or proposal before a deadline.

When you are 25, your key role may have been advancing in a career.  When you are 35 it may be that of a parent.

You can not be both things at all times and you can’t give equal time to all things.  Focus instead on what is important now.


What is your most important, or key role right now? Focus on this stage in your life as well as at this moment in your day.  The two may be different but overlap, just like instruments in an orchestra.

Now let go of feeling the need to find balance.

Nicole Bandes is the bestselling author of Positivity on Purpose: Intentionally Create More Abundance, Wealth and Happiness. Go from negative, unhappy and miserable to positive, excited and extraordinary in just 30 days with her Positivity on Purpose Transformational Challenge beginning  April 23rd. Learn more and register at http://goldeneaglescoaching.com/poptc/.  You can also read more articles by Nicole at http://goldeneaglescoaching.com/blog/.


  1. Small Footprints on April 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    I really like the analogy of the orchestra … it puts “balance” in a new and interesting light. My problem is choosing the most important role, or task, of the day. I may start my morning deciding what I want to focus on but then my plan gets derailed and that frustrates me. So perhaps thinking about my most important role of the moment, rather than the day, would help me to be more flexible. Thank you for a thought-provoking post! 🙂

  2. Nicole Bandes on April 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    @Small Footprints: Our days are ever changing and “stuff” comes up so it is important to be gentle with ourselves. One thing that may help is to create a list each day of the top 2 or 3 things in your focus role that you need to accomplish. Then, as your role changes throughout the day, you can go along with the flow but still have your focus right there when you can get back to it.

  3. […] Balance?  Balance is for the scales of justice, not for humans.  There will never be balance within our lives.  That’s the bad news.  It’s also the good news.  Read the rest here. […]

  4. nadine sellers on April 10, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    while spring cleaning desk tops, i found 3 old lists of to-dos..much was already done, but the not-yets seemed overwhelming..
    sun was calling and garden needed me–so i threw the lists in compost and recycled the ideas in the new early spring light..
    number one: get organized in the file dept. too many “notes”…
    scan photos; why? because i want to leave the only legacy i truly own.
    and a sad three: how about prioritizing husband and oh yeah, self?
    that’s the last one i always forget in all the to dos..moi.

    thanks for the well ‘orchestrated’ advice nicole

  5. Linda Luke on April 11, 2012 at 1:04 am

    We really think alike. I teach harmony vs. balance too. Must be that Life Coaching thing we share….

  6. Mrs Green on April 11, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    Thanks for sharing your words and wisdom Nicole.

    Interesting that you tell us that there will never be balance in our lives.

    I find that there *is* balance in all things; it’s just that one week we might be needing to prioritise one role, another week it’s something else – but overall, and in the long run everything in life is in perfect balance. (to my perception anyway!)

    Love your advice to Small Footprints; that’s definitely something that can help me too.